Saturday, January 28, 2023

(with thanks to Devon Elder at age 5)

You wanna see how to eat a grapefruit?
Just watch me.

First you put a grapefruit half in a bowl.
Hey somebody! I need a bowl for my grapefruit.
See how easy that was?

Now comes the hard part. Grab a spoon.
In your right hand. Unless you are left handed.
Hold the spoon so it's right side up.
Now, put the tip at the edge of this pink stuff,
right near the yellow part, but between these lines.
Dig in like this. Push in as much as you can.
Now, get some pink stuff and juice on the spoon.
This is not like oatmeal.
So it is okay not to fill the spoon.
With grapefruit, anything is better than nothing.
Hold the spoon level so the juice doesn't spill
and slowly, slowly, bring it to your mouth and slip it in.
Close your mouth. Pull out the spoon. Mmmmmmm.

Keep doing the same thing, but turn the grapefruit in the bowl

so the stuff you want is near your spoon.
In between digging and eating
you can look at yourself in the spoon.
If you look at the inside of the spoon you are upside down.
But if you look at the outside, you're not. Neat, huh?

When you get most of the pink stuff out, you gotta drink the juice.
Pick up the grapefruit and fold it together like a taco.
Hold one end up to your mouth and squeeze the bottom.
You can let the juice run into your mouth,
but sometimes it helps to suck in the juice like a vacuum cleaner.
If you hold the grapefruit level, like this,
the juice goes out the back end and down your arm,
off your elbow onto the table and then the floor. See?
But if you tilt it up, like a coke bottle,
it just dribbles down your chin and into the bowl.

Now, drink the last bit from the bowl.

Tom Keene March 1991